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[12 Feb 2009|01:07am] |
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Brian "Head" Welch - Save me from myself |
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So, I've been thinking of making a new account for awhile since there are a ton of posts I would rather not see anymore and should probably just start fresh. Either before I head off to bed or something tomorrow I'll probably create that new account. It will probably be along the lines of all my usernames on the internet although we'll have to see if its even available on livejournal.
After creating the new account I will mostlikely post it up on here when it has been made.
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[18 Jan 2009|08:20pm] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
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So, I've decided to start reading New Moon. I didnt think I was going to read it because I've started to really become annoyed at the amount of people who are SO INTO the Twilight series and how they're all wanting a guy like Edward and all this crap.. like its a good book but get over it, its not real. All these pictures and stuff I see popping around on the internet for these books are rediculous. Its like another Harry Potter... I couldnt get into those books, the movies I only seen two of them and I'm like whatever with the Harry Potter series. I like the Twilight books.. I mean, I'm only on chapter 3 right now of New Moon and its pretty good so far and the first book was really good but the movie for the first book, I think it was pretty lacking. I think people really need to calm the fuck down about these books, I mean its based on a fucking dream, a fucking fictional dream people.
My leg really hurts for some strange reason, I have no idea what I even did to it. Its fine for now, but if I move it'll fucking kill. Cant really do anything but sit here otherwise I'm just gonna be in pain... and I need to clean my room, take a shower and I'm kinda thirsday so this sucks.
So anyways, next month is going to be pretty busy for me. SO many birthdays, including mine all wrapped up in February and then sometime in the summer (I believe in August) my sister is FINALY getting married. I'm so excited for her and Mike, so happy for them! We're going to Ottawa for that and then some time afterwards my parents and I are going somewhere... I forget where my mom said.
Not much else to really talk about... so back to reading, maybe..
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[23 Dec 2008|03:57pm] |
Got ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) triplesix 's card in the mail today; thank you Mandee. I swear it was a god given sign haha. In math today on my second worksheet of the afternoon I answer three questions in a row and all three answers happen to be a six. I sit back staring at these numbers and ponder to myself "dude its a sign, its going to be here today" and guess what! I walk in the house and get all my winter crap off, walk in to the kitchen and look over on the counter and what do you know... there it is. True story. |
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| ...♥..♥..♥..♥... |
[10 Dec 2008|05:27pm] |
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Pantera - Hollow |
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Alrighty, so I've been pretty busy since I've last posted. I started back into school and am now at the 'Adult Learning Center' by Confederation College. I go to this builing every Monday to Friday at 12:30pm for math and we get a 15 minute break at 2 and are outta class at 3:30pm. It's been fairly good so far and everyone there is really nice, so I'm really happy about that.
I've hungout with Kim a couple of times since I've started the program, after class and I've been talking to Jackie online whenever she's on. Jackie's been pretty busy with college, work, and homework so she's hardly online. If I'm in the mall and I see that she's working, I'll wave at her but thats the only time I really see her. When time lets us, we'll start hanging out again. I really miss hanging out with her and Lisa too.
I saw Sonny one day while going into the College to meet up with Kim. It felt so weird to be near him. Nothing was said by either of us and I told myself to just keep walking and not to look back. It would of been nice to have had somewhat of a convorsation with him, but appearently he doesnt want anything to do with me, wich is totally fine with me. Taylor and I still talk, wich is nice.
Also, the past couple days I've been finding some old friends of mine on Facebook who I went to school with at one point. I havnt spoken with these people in years, its amazing they even still remember me, and its so weird that they have kids now.
Kevin and I are getting back to how we once were, wich I'm pretty happy about. I can not wait till he moves here, if that even ends up happening. I'm really hoping so beacause he's awesome and I would love to hangout with him. He seriously needs to move here ♥.
I've really been missing Morgan, the crazy little brat Dylan is always around and gets into everything. Morgan moved in with his mom and sister, I really dont like the fact that he did that but he did. I really hope I get to see him really soon because I dont think I can go on without that kid.
Anyways, uhm.. I think thats about it for now.
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[04 Dec 2008|11:08am] |
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mood |
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content |
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Tap That - Megan McCauley |
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I'll make an entry really soon....
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[26 Nov 2008|08:18am] |
 Alright so I honestly have no idea whats even been going on since I last posted. Alot of shit has been going on and well I'm majorly confused, but thats usually how things end up right? Oh well, life goes on.. So anyways, other then that crap. My parents and I were in Duluth for the weekend, wich aside from the crappy crap that went down, I still managed to have a prety good time.  In Duluth I spent alot of time taking random photos of myself in the hotel so if you would like to check those out, they're on my Myspace and Facebook. Please comment, no one seems to comment my pictures anymore for some strange reason. Comments make me happy so please, please, please give them many comments.  I'm heading over to the college this afternoon to talk to someone about the literacy program. So hopefully this will be the final step through seeking to finish my school. I'm really excited about it so hopefully I'll be starting there in January.  |
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[04 Nov 2008|06:29am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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Sum 41 - So Long Goodbye. |
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I'm really missing my grandmother - alot.
I cant stop listening to this one song.. it makes me think about her.
Sum 41 - So Long Goodbye
Time passes by, direction unknown.
You've left us now but we're not alone.
Before you know it, your cup's over flown.
You measure no one that I've ever known.
Chorus:
And it's quite alright, and goodbye for now.
Just look up to the stars and believe who you are,
'Cause it's quite alright
and so long goodbye.
We always knew that it'd come to this,
It's times like these i forget what I miss.
Matters of heart are hard to address,
Especially when yours is full of emptiness.
Chorus:
And it's quite alright, and goodbye for now.
Just look up to the stars and believe who you are,
'Cause it's quite alright
and so long goodbye.
Time passes by, direction unknown.
You've left us now but we're not alone.
Before you know it, your cup's over flown.
You measure no one that I've ever known.
Chorus:
And it's quite alright, and goodbye for now.
Just look up to the stars and believe who you are,
'Cause it's quite alright
and so long goodbye. |
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[30 Oct 2008|01:09am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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So I was cleaning my room earlier and I came across these pictures so I decided I would scan them for your viewing pleasure...
So here I am as a tiny tot in the bahama's with some people who I dont remember, yaay.
 I dont remember what that birds name was but I seem pretty amused by it. 
This was for some dance parade I was in. 
That guy I believe is a professional ballet dancer. Lastly, my mom and I in Banff I think.
There are a few more.. I'm to lazy to put them here. Wanna check them out.. go see my Facebook or Myspace.
Dont forget to comment <3
Peace, time to go finish watching Underworld *lovelove*
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[26 Oct 2008|10:51pm] |
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music |
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Watching a movie. |
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So.. the past little while I've been having these pukey feelings in the morning before I eat anything and then again after I eat. I've also been getting these pulsing headaches randomly off and on aswell. I dont know why I'm feeling like this. Maybe I do, maybe its because of all the things that have happend recently with breaking up with Sonny to thinking about taking him back to not wanting too and then my grandma passing away and having to go to the funeral and then a couple days after we get back home I go to the college and talk about getting in to a program with the college to finish highschool. My parents also want to put me in to drivers ed. *sigh*
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[22 Oct 2008|04:51pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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I dont think I've told many people about what I've planned to be doing. Ever since I dropped outta highschool my family and friends of the family have been preasuring me into going back to school and into getting a job and all this other shit. It pissed me off and upset me so much and got me so depressed I couldnt handle people telling me how to run my life and when the proper time to go back is and all. Like it should be up to me on when to go back right?
Anyways, that has died down quite a bit so finaly I have decided that now would be the perfect time to actually get back into it. So.. I went to my old highschool today to pick up my transcript, my dad called in yesterday to ask for it and they told him it would be ready for pickup. It felt really strange being in that school again. I felt so weird when dad and I drove up to the parking lot of Sir Winston Churchill and got out of the car so I asked my dad if he would come in with me. We headed inside and over to the Student Services Office and no one was there except for this random student who was reading something.
After awhile of waiting a familiar face walked in from the Office doors wich connected to the Student Services Office. My dad and I were standing in there for a good while before I noticed Mrs Boyle (I believe it was) walking in and started talking to some students who came in while dad and I were standing around waiting. We talked to her a little after she talked with the two boys. Got my transcript and went off towards Confederation College.
As we walked into the College doors I didnt feel like I was entering a school and talked to one of the lady's behind the info/welcome place I guess. The lady seemed really nice and now I have to go back there tomorrow to talk to this other person on going into the link program.
I'm actually pretty excited about this and I'm hoping I'll be able to get my highschool finished and be able to consintrate and make new friends and get on to other things at the college after finaly finishing highschool. Should be interesting and hopefully I'll be able to stick with it.
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[16 Oct 2008|10:47pm] |
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The funeral went really well and me a few cousin's and one of my brother's were a big part in the funeral. Six of us were Pallbearers, it was pretty nifty. I was pretty nervous about it since I'm tiny and not very strong and never thought it was possible for me to help carry my grandmother's casket, I had never done something like it in my life and never thought it was possible for me to do such a thing since I'm pretty tiny and not very strong. I met a bunch of my dad's cousin's.
It was really nice seeing my cousin's and aunt's and uncle's and my brother Colin and sister Melissa. I dont get to see these people that often. Nobody really keeps in touch with us, wich is really sad, I would love to visit with them more often. I think the last time we were all together was when my grandpa passed in 2000.
I'm doing pretty good considering the funeral and all. I'm just glad she isnt suffering and that she went peacefully.
Rest in Peace
xoxo
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[11 Oct 2008|02:05pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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SHIIIIT
So alot has been going on...
I dont have time to elaborate on everything, I have a plane to catch.
My grandma passed away a few days ago, so we'll be in Port Elgin for the next few days...
I dont think I'll be on a computer till we get back into Thunderbay so leave me messages and pretty things on my profiles and such
kay thanx.
I'm pretty content with everything though, so dont worry about me. I'm doing good.
I'll miss you all
xoxoxo
Jams
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[09 Oct 2008|04:59pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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Rest In Peace Nanny xo
Sept. 26th 1922 - Oct. 9th 2008
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[07 Aug 2008|06:48pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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music |
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Shakira - Whenever, Wherever |
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Hello Livejournal.
Yes, I am infact still alive..
sorry for the lack of posts in the past while,
have been fairly busy and havnt had the time to post about anything.
I'll try and post a real entry soon,
although am not sure when I'll have the time.
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[21 Jun 2008|04:08am] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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Can you imagine waking up each day
waking up and knowing that he's not there
not there to hold you, to kiss you
to tell you that he'll always care
Imagine that you never really told him
about how you honestly felt inside
you were so afraid of losing him
and of losing your pride
Thinking back over the times
and everything that together you went through
isn't it hard to know
that now, hes not with you?
These days i just wanna cry
i sit alone, my head on the pillow
not sure what to do
not sure what to say
emotions exaggerate
eager to release how i feel
but i cant.....
this is chewing through my bones
i wish it could just leave me and fade away
its tearin me apart , messing my mind
i'm trying hard to forget
everything thats happpened
i cant.
So much to say
But my mind is always getting in the way
I reflect and I reflect,
Thinking things have to be said perfect
I wish for once I could just say what was in my head,
Rather than worrying about what I just said
I wish for once I could be free
Rather than worrying about what people think of me
I wish for once I could just do what I feel
Rather than worrying about what is someone else's ideal
And I wish for once I could just be me,
Rather than worrying about how I should be
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[12 Jun 2008|04:30pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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Helloooooooo Livejournal.. Its been awhile..
No, I'm not dead.. yet. I've been fairly busy, so havnt had much time to actually sit down and update. I've deleted a bunch of unwanted posts that we dont really need to have up on here. Theres probably a bunch more, who knows. I really dont feel like going through every single post right now, maybe sometime in the future or something.
I have a lot of new photos wich have been added to the few profiles I still go on.
Not much else to really say.........
Comment?.
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[30 Jan 2008|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
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music |
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Get Up - Ciara |
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Yes. I'm still alive. Just havnt posted in awhile.
But I'm still here, so dont you fear! haha.
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| I need you like a heart needs a beat... |
[13 Dec 2007|11:38pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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Joss Stone - Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now |
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Got a new cell. I'm not sure why I got it early when its suposto be a Christmas gift. But its a pretty sweet phone.
I havnt been able to stop listening to this song... Sarah ;; __pandem0nium_ pretty much made me download it from the lyrics she had posted. The lyrics made me want to hear it. This song does things to me, it makes me happy and think about my babes, I love him so much and the song makes me think about all the amazing times I've had with him. He's my joy, my everything. I honestly dont know where I would be without him. We've had pretty hard times but the thing that people dont get is the moments where everythings just perfect, those are thee moments that heal and bring me back and forget about all the upsetting and hurtful things.
People have to learn not to dwell on the bad shit in life and just go on with your lives and what makes you happy or even what makes you, you. Give yourself and others credit for the things they've done to help bring you happiness and who have helped you through everything. Who have helped you become the person you are today and who help you without even knowing it. When you dwell on the bad you dont see the good side of things, sometimes you dont even see the good in people when you constantly dwell on the bad.
It really helps bring alot of joy and happiness to yourself by bringing happiness and joy into other peoples lives, this is why I am the way that I am, I guess, and why people feel they can come to me with anything and everything. I enjoy being there for people and helping them make a better life for themselves. I understand people and know what their going through wether I've been that same situation or not, I know exactly how they feel, I feel what they feel. Its in my nature as a Pisces.
When I stop and think about everything I've done in my life and all the people I've met and helped along the way it makes he happy to know I've done something for not only others but for me. By helping them it helps me become happier and to become a better person myself. I'm so glad I have the friends that I do and that I have met so many people around the world and have helped them all so much. I'm so blessed to be able to bring happiness to the world. Also to have found someone like Sonny, I dont think my life would feel complete without someone who's as funny and loving as he is. He makes me laugh when I dont even want to smile, he brings joy to my world, he brings so much to my life. I'm so glad I have Kim, I dont know what I would do without our years and years of friendship and how she pretty well brought Sonny and I together.
- - - - - - - - -
"Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now"
(feat. Common)
Yes, we have arrived
Joss Stone
Uh huh
It's for the world world world world
Uh
[VERSE]
You don't have to make your mind up
I just wanna take my time with you
yeah
If that's alright, it's alright
Oh forgive me if I get too shy but
maybe you're the reason why, love
I'm feelin' butterflies
Somethin' bout the look in your eyes
Oooh it just makes me feel so right
[CHORUS]
When my mind's void
You're my joy
You're the dream when I sleep
And hey I'm for ya yeah I adore ya
you're everything
That I need
And I love how you love me
If I'm made for you
you're made for me
It's too good to be
So tell me what we're gonna do now
Yeah tell me what we're gonna do now
yeah yeah
[VERSE]
Funny how my world keeps spinnin'
sometimes you can be so silly
You know just how to make me laugh
Ooh, your skin is so lovely
It moves me when you touch me
I know that you got my back
It feels so safe when you hold me
It's already like you know me
When my mind's void
You're my joy
You're the dream when I sleep
And hey I'm for ya yeah I adore ya
you're everything that I need
I love how you love me
If I'm made for you
you're made for me
It's too good to be true
So tell me what we're gonna do now
[BRIDGE]
Oh right now
See baby I love how you make me smile
Don't leave please stay awhile
Let's make this happen
I don't care how
[Common]
Right now lets stay in the present
Can't worry bout tomorrow cause today is a blessin
The world in a state of aggression
I find calm in you
I see my mom in you
It's like a feelin' in ya stomach
when you want it so bad
If we keep keeping it fresh
it ain't gonna go bad
I've been through the valley of love
Rode through the shores of Cali
just to find peace of mind
Looking to the sky
asking for at least a sign
Beautiful you came at such a decent time
When we combine it's like good food and wine
Flavorful yet refined
You remind me of the divine
So easy
Love can be lost and then found, like Stevie
I just love having you around
you wearing the gown
I'm wearing the crown
pound for pound
we the freshest couple in town
[CHORUS]
When my mind's void
You're my joy
You're my dream
And hey I'm for ya yeah I adore ya
you're everything
And I love how you love me baby
I'm made for you oh
you're made for me
Ooh tell me what we're gonna do
Tell me what we're gonna do
Tell me what we're gonna do
Tell me what we're gonna do
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[26 Nov 2007|11:34pm] |
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music |
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Pat Bentar - Love is a Battlefeild |
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Helping people is something I do best. I really enjoy it too. Its also something that makes me happy.
I've been talking to a few people who have had many problems and they always seem to come to me with everything. It makes me feel good to know that I'm able to help people and make them happy. Its also pretty sweet when these people have also done alot for me.
- - - - -
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no on can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
You're beggin' me to go, you're makin' me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing you've had
Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why
But I'm trapped by your love and I'm chained to your side
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demads
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no once can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefiled
We're losing control
Will you turn me away or touch me deep inside
And before this gets old, will it still feel the same
There's no way this will die
But if we get much closer, I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders, you'll need me to hold
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefiled
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[08 Nov 2007|04:25pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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Pink - U + Ur Hand |
] |
I've been really missin' the old days. Those old random mall adventures we all used to have almost everyday! The random hang outs in the food court with random friends and random friends of friends. It was good, it was silly, it was fun. All those laughs and retardedness. All those happy goofy random fun moments. I've really do miss it. Why does it seem like all my friends have neglected those random mall adventures and never seem to be there when I'm there. Its different now.. Its not the same at all. I hardly ever go to the mall anymore and just sit in the food court and watch people, eating food, walking the mall, looking at things, talking and laughing with the friends. Those were the days.
I miss going out and being random with friends. I dont do that all that much anymore. I used to go have fun and walk around town and go to the mall or walmart or superpet (wich is now smartpet or whatever) or wendy's with friends. I used to go to Jackie's every weekend and we'd have our rutine adventures. Used to be so much fun and filled with goofyness and laughs and randomness. And then Jackie and I adding ITG to our rutine and then ending up not having the wendy's rutine but instead the ITG at Famous Players rutine was placed. Even just walking to the park and taking random goofy pictures, and playing badmonton or just laying around talking, drinking energy drinks and just being outdoorsy. I miss it all.
Now its as if I'm stuck in basements. Everywhere I go I end up in someones basement. It's either my room, Jackie's basement, Sonny's room. (all in different houses ofcourse! Those two dont exactly get along) not that I'm complaining about it, I enjoy being with these people and spending time in basements but I would like to also be more outdoorsy, adventurous, and random again.
Its kind of sad how things happend, and how friends have changed, how some friends arnt even friends anymore and how things just feel so different. I miss hanging out with so many people that I dont even really talk to anymore. Last year and the begining of this year were so random and aweseom, I loved it. I mean, there were tonz of moments I dont even want to think of but even still some of those moments, come to think of it were pretty amazing.
I'm not saying I'm not happy with how things have turned out thusfar. I'm just saying I would like to have at least some of those old moments back and the crazy adventures and routines were still had every now and then. I miss it all too much. Its really sad how things often change, yet are still somewhat the same only it feels so much different without certain people or certain things/ laughs/ moments/ friends/ craziness, etc...
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